


Unmasked

by Beleriandings



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/F, Gen, cruel rumours, sibling relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 08:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2461199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beleriandings/pseuds/Beleriandings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lalwen is young when she finds out the hard way that people will always say cruel things about herself and her mother and siblings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unmasked

Findis let herself out of Arafinwë’s bedroom, stepping out into the shadowed corridor on light feet. She smiled a little still as she thought of the warm weight of her sleeping brother in her arms, the slight contented smile on his small face as she had slipped off his shoes and festival tunic, and took the elaborate braids from his golden hair before tucking him into bed.

The door closed with a quiet snick behind her, but it was at that moment that she heard another sound, at the end of the corridor. Then the door that led down into the courtyard was flying open with a bang, and a dark figure was hurtling towards her, head bowed, angrily flinging something hard to the ground which bounced and clattered against the skirting board.

“Hey! What do you think you’re - ” Findis caught the stranger in her arms before the two of them could be sent sprawling, and as she did so the hood fell back. She faltered. “ _Lalwendë?_ ”

Her sister stared up at her sullenly, anguish and something that may have been relief and finally rage flashing across her tear-streaked face in quick succession. She sighed, trying to squirm out of Findis’ grip on her shoulders. She nodded at the door to the guest room she stayed in when they spent the night at the palace, a little further down the corridor. When she spoke her voice was weary. “Let me past, Findis.”

“Not until you tell me what happened.”

“Nothing” said Lalwendë, looking down at her hands and twisting them together.

“Well that’s clearly a lie” said Findis, her voice coming out sterner than she had intended. She had dropped it to a whisper, remembering Arafinwë sleeping in the next room. She frowned, going to pick up the object that Lalwendë had dropped and realising it was an elaborate jewelled half-mask, with a long hooked nose and trimmed with iridescent blue feathers. She sighed. “The ball not to your taste then?”

Lalwendë’s face was sour. “Whatever gave you that impression, dear sister?” 

Findis ignored this last. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you’re my little – no longer so little - sister, and you’re clearly upset.”

Lalwendë angrily tore the heavy dark velvet cloak from her shoulders as she glared up at Findis, resentment in her eyes. Her fine dark blue satin dress was rumpled, the beaded braids and ringlets of her black hair that Findis had helped her with earlier now dishevelled.

“What happened?” said Findis gently, offering the mask back to Lalwendë.

Lalwendë snatched it from her fingers, bundling it inside her cloak and clutching both to her chest. “People are fucking terrible” she burst out viciously at last, scowling at the floor.

Findis was a little taken aback at the venom in Lalwendë’s tone, but she tried not to let it show on her face. “Come on, do you want to come to my room? I’ll light a fire, and you can tell me exactly what happened. It will help. I’m guessing you don’t want to go back to the ball now - ”

“You think so?” Lalwendë’s lip curled.

“Lalwendë…” she extended her hand, but her sister flinched backwards and she dropped it hastily.

Lalwendë looked at her for a long moment. “Oh, Findis” she said at last, her voice soft. “I’m sorry, I’m been awful.” She came a little closer, holding out both her hands to Findis, who took her tentatively in her arms, still a little puzzled. “Findis” said Lalwendë, her voice a little muffled by Findis’ hair, “there are people who are so… so…”

“You’d better tell me from the beginning.”

Lalwendë took a deep breath. “Well, the thing is, it was a masked ball. You know how it is, everyone wearing masks, the low lights, the music…” a slightly wistful smile played about her lips for a moment, before her face crumpled. “Also the wine had been flowing all day, and there was this girl that I had been watching… for a while. All through the dancing. Before that too…” she was blushing. “I had thought myself in love with her, Eru help me…”

“I’m guessing Melinámië of the house of Hératano? You have been giving her the most besotted of looks for a good while now, dear sister.”

Lalwendë grimaced. “Was I really that obvious?”

“Quite obvious, yes.” Findis sighed, laying a gentle hand on her sister’s shoulder. “So, what… happened?”

“Well, I came to her in the rose gardens outside the palace, while all the guests were dancing. I had kept my mask on all night, but I was  _certain_  she knew it was me, I was  _sure_ …” Lalwendë shook her head. “Anyway, we met in the alcove, by the passage to the fountain courtyard. We were…” Lalwendë blushed a little, the colour rising in her cheeks, but she looked Findis in the eye defiantly. “Well, long story short, we were kissing and then, uh, it got a bit further than that…”

Findis grimaced. “Did someone see you?”

“No!” said Lalwendë hastily. “No, I don’t think…” she sighed. “Well, clothes were starting to come off, and she took off my mask…” Lalwendë rubbed her bare elbows uncomfortably. “I was sure she knew it was me. But then I suppose until then she must have taken me for just some girl from Tirion, maybe the daughter of one of Atar’s lords and ladies, or someone like that. It was dark before, and we were both masked, chasing each other in and out of shadows through amongst the columns and the arches…” For a moment, Lalwendë looked so wistful that Findis felt a stab of pity for her. Then her face fell. “She recognised me as soon as she took off my mask, of course. We were between kisses, and she drew back as though…” she scowled “…as though I was something  _horrible_ , Findis. And what she said…”

Findis frowned, sitting her sister down against the wall and sliding down next to her, placing an arm around her shoulder. “What did she say, Lalwendë?”

“She said that she hadn’t realised it was me, and that  _if she had known_ … and then she left the words hanging. She tried to turn away, and I grabbed her sleeve… I ripped it…” Lalwendë laughed bitterly. “I made her tell me what she was going to say. What she would have done  _if she had known_. She said, quite bold as she pleased, that she would not have sought me out if she had known that I was who I was. I made her elaborate.” Lalwendë’s lip curled, her hands balling into fists. “She called us king’s bastards, unnatural and wrong, the children of the usurper queen. She said her mother and father would not want her mixing with any such as me. Then she ran away, and the look in her eyes…” Lalwendë gritted her teeth, eyes flashing with anger. There was pain there too, Findis saw, and when Lalwendë spoke next her voice was small and brittle. “We were already breaking every law and custom there is and  _that’s_  what she gets upset about? That’s what drives her off?”

There was a short silence, as Findis tried to think what to say. “You should bring this before Atar. Such talk is treason. You’re a princess, Lalwendë, and she was speaking slander against you, me, our whole house, the Ñoldorin court and the decisions of the Valar themselves. You could have her punished, in any way you want…”  
Lalwendë sighed, heavily. “I’m well aware of that.”

“But you have no wish to?”

Lalwendë looked up at Findis with eyes shining with tears. “I thought I loved her. I know it was probably just a silly thing, a fancy, and that she wasn’t the person I thought, but still…” she shook her head.

Findis sighed, stroking her sister’s dark hair and laying her head against Lalwendë’s. “Even now, you don’t want to see her chastised.”

“No.” Lalwendë hesitated for a moment. “She thinks I’m an abomination though. An unnatural creature. And all it took was for her to see my face, to know who I was and where I came from… are there others, Findis? Do other people regard us as such?”

Findis thought for a moment. “There have been pockets of opposition to Atar’s second marriage ever since it was announced, and yet more crawled out into the light when I was born. I think they will always be there. Not just the kin of Míriel, but those who disagreed on a level of principle.”

Lalwendë snroted. “The ones who had sticks up their arses, you mean.”

“Perhaps. But the fact remains that there will always be those who regard the marriage between our parents as unlawful and unnatural, and us as illegitimate.” Findis saw the helpless fury in Lalwendë’s eyes. “If you still do not want to tell Atar of what Melinámië said, then I suppose all you can do is - ”

But at that moment, her words were interrupted by the door at the end of the corridor opening, and suddenly Ñolofinwë was there, relief on his face. “There you are, Lalwendë” he said, sitting down in the corridor beside her. “I saw you running up the stairs, half sobbing.” He looked concerned. “If she broke your heart…”

“Why does  _everyone know_ ” grumbled Lalwendë, leaning forward and hugging her knees.

Hastily, Findis filled Ñolofinwë in on the details, rubbing small, comforting circles at the base of Lalwendë’s spine as she spoke. By the time she was finished, Ñolofinwë was half growling, getting to his feet and pacing up and down the corridor furiously.  
“Let me talk to her” he hissed. “I know that family, they are close to Fëanáro. I bet he’s been feeding them lies about us, every single one. I’ll show this Melinámië what it means to hurt my little sister.” He kicked the wall, angrily.

Lalwendë raised her head. “Ñolvo, stop it” she said wearily. “I won’t let you use this as a way to pick a fight with Fëanáro. He wasn’t involved, and neither were you. You’re behaving like a child.”

“ _I’m_  behaving like a child?” He glowered. “This isn’t just about you, Lalwendë. She insulted us all! She insulted  _Amil_!” He looked to Findis. “You agree with me, don’t you Findis?”

Findis raised her hands in front of her. “Leave me out of this. But for the record, Ñolvo, I think that it falls to Lalwendë to judge what she wants to do, and who she wants to tell, in the circumstances. The situation in which the argument happened… could lead to even more disgrace.”

Ñolofinwë frowned. “That’s so cruelly unfair, it makes my blood boil just to think about it.”

“I know” said Findis with a pang, holding Lalwendë close. She felt her sister’s tears come at last, soaking into her the fabric at her shoulder. “All I can say is that  _we_  know the truth. We can do little but show them that we are not what some think we are. That we are worthy heirs of our father, and proud of our mother. Make them both proud of us.”

Lalwendë raised her head, sighing, as Ñolofinwë sat down heavily beside her again. “It’s alright for you two” she said. “Findis, stepping out with all the most honourable and  _appropriate_  lordlings. Ñolofinwë, with  _that_ ” she nodded at the silver betrothal ring on his finger with a snort. “What have I ever done to act respectable? Furthermore, what can I ever do that will make Atar and Amil proud of me, and show the people the sort of princess that I should be?” She shook her head. “They expect me to grow out of kissing girls in the bushes whilst mildly drunk after dances, but I think I might disappoint them all on that count. Valar know I’ve tried to grow out of it but…” she laughed suddenly. “Actually, maybe that’s a slightly unfortunate way to put it. I most certainly hope the Valar don’t know  _everything_.”

They all chuckled a little, but their laughter was cut short by the door behind them opening and Arafinwë padding out into the corridor on bare feet, dragging his blanket behind him. “Lalë, are you sad?” he said, looking down at her appraisingly where she sat curled on the floor between Findis and Ñolofinwë. “Don’t be sad.” She barely had time to stretch her legs out onto the floor before he had plopped himself down in her lap, wrapping his blanket about both of them, before curling himself into her arms.

 _He is so young,_  thought Findis.  _Let him remain unaware of what they say of us a little longer, for he will surely also have to suffer the rumours and whispering when he grows to adulthood._  “Oh, little one, you should be in bed” she said softly, but she could not help but smile a little when she saw the slight upwards turn of Lalwendë’s lips.

“I  _was_  sad” admitted Lalwendë, holding Arafinwë closer as he looked up at her with wide blue eyes. “But now I am not quite so sad. For the moment, at least.”

Findis clasped her hands together with a sigh. “We should all sleep” she said. “Lalwendë, in the morning there will still be people who hate us simply for who we are. But still, I think that in the golden light of Laurelin, you will feel at least a little better.”

Her sister nodded sleepily in Ñolofinwë’s arms, letting her head drop forward to kiss Arafinwë’s brow. “Thank you, Findis. Thank you.”


End file.
